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Hi There,

I’m an amateur computer thief and I love shopping at UAA. Sometimes UAA employees really make my job easy.

Whenever I need a new computer, all I do is casually walk into various offices and look for new computer packing boxes and materials. When I spot that stuff, I know exactly where my evening plans will take me. Sometimes UAA employees even leave the packing material right outside their offices so I know exactly where to look!

I’ve found that the best time to shop for new computers at UAA is during the holidays and between semesters when no one is around. The best part is that the thefts aren’t reported to the police for days or weeks or sometimes even months after I’ve visited! The more time that goes by, the less likely that UPD can catch me.

Recently I’ve been having some serious customer service problems at UAA. Employees are starting to unpack their new computers and set them up right away. It’s very inconvenient for me to steal a computer and all of its associated parts when they’re all spread out over a desk with cords everywhere. In addition, the employees are hiding the packaging material so it’s tuff for me to locate new computers. Laptop computers used to be so easy to steal, but now some employees are locking their laptop computers in their desks. I used to love shopping at UAA for video projectors, but now ITS is  not only locking them to their mounts but installing loud and scary screamer alarms. Those inconsiderate people at ITS (786-4646) are responsible for cutting into my big-screen TV franchise. UAA has also been installing video cameras all over the place and I thought that there was a law against filming me shopping without my written permission! They don't even pay me video royalties when they catch me!

What makes things even worse is that some wise guy, with no idea of good customer service, has been reimbursing departments for the cost of lockdown devices.  If I can’t walk out with a computer in a minute or two, it’s not worth the risk to me. Please, please do not contact Facilities Maintenance Services at 786-6980 and have them install a lockdown device. If you do get a lockdown device installed, don’t call Risk Management Support at 786-1351 to arrange for reimbursement.

Other departments are joining the poor customer service bandwagon. When a department closes for the summer, other people check their area routinely during their absence. In addition, employees are reporting thefts in a timelier manner to UPD at 786-1120 so my retail business is really taking a beating. I've even had some of my hard-earned computers returned to UAA because of those unsympathetic folks at UPD.  I’ve also noticed that fewer departments are accepting delivery of new computers during the holidays. That in itself has forced me to increase my holiday gift budget enormously.

At this rate, I’m going to go broke! Have a heart UAA. I’m just trying to make a living. What’s an honest thief to do? Maybe I should complain to the Chancellor or send a letter to the editor of the Northern Light?

Sincerely yours,

UAA Amateur Computer Thief

NOTE:     To get computer or equipment lockdown devices installed, first contact Trig at 786-1351 or at trig@uaa.alaska.edu to discuss your needs. After project costs are determined, Trig will let you know how much budget assistance he can provide from Loss Prevention funds. For more information on Loss Prevention Funding, see EHS/RMS Policy 21.

For all kinds of useful information, be sure to visit the Environmental Health & Safety and Risk Management Support website which can be accessed through the Facilities and Campus Services homepage at www.uaa.alaska.edu/fcs/  or use the bottons below. Enjoy!

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